I talk a lot about conflict resilience

What is conflict resilience?

Conflict resilience is not the absence of conflict but the ability to manage it.

We will all be engaged in conflict throughout our lifetimes, some of us daily; some of us not so frequently but we cannot live our lives and be completely free of conflict because we are human.

We all have different values, needs and beliefs. There are not two people in the world who have the same thought at exactly the same time about the same things.

We are not robots. We will not always agree. That in itself is not a problem because important growth and development comes from discovering what you stand for and disagreeing with another person.

We have had great technological and scientific developments as a result of conflict because when we passionately hold a position we learn what stand for. We often learn a lot about the subject matter we are passionately arguing about. We become experts and our opinions matter. However these arguments are often respectful. Where all parties are heard and discussion follows due to the deep understanding the parties have about the issues.

However sometimes we are dealing with toxic conflict. When the conflict is toxic we do not deal with our differences particularly well. We tend to go into our “world of one” where we will hold on to what we believe as being right without respecting and acknowledging the other person’s point of you. It is all about us. The other person doesn’t matter.

When this occurs the conflict goes nowhere, because when two sides refuse to acknowledge the other person’s position or views then there is no scope for change, development, forgiveness or resolution.

Conflict resilience requires an awareness of our own values, our needs and how we wish to be perceived and an understanding the other people will have their own set of values, their own needs and an awareness of how they want to be perceived.  This awareness will provide an opportunity for the parties to deal with issues when they arise in a healthy fashion. They will be more respectful of each other; whilst at the same time being assertive.

Conflict resilience is developing the skills and awareness within yourself personally and in your team so you are able to do deal with any conflict situation when it arises in a healthy and respectful manner.

 

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