Hand up if you’re a parent or know a parent.
Hand up if you have ever witnessed a three year old have a tantrum in a shopping centre when you said no. When you set a boundary. When they couldn’t have what they wanted there and then.
Hand up if you’ve witnessed an adult have a tantrum when we have said no, when we have set a boundary and followed up on it.
Adult tantrums tend to be less violent. Less thrashing around on the floor; less full on weeping.
Adult tantrums might look like sulking and silent treatment or alternatively they might look like yelling and telling you that you’re an idiot, that you don’t get it. Often there are lots of words, emails and phone calls to help you understand how unreasonable you are being. There’s lots of drama.
Either way this full on behaviour will be an attempt to manipulate you to let them have what they want. They don’t want you to hold your ground. They want you to cave – big time.
So there is a lot of pressure to give in. There is a lot of emotion. Anger, sadness, frustration – it’s sometimes very intimidating.
So what happens if you give in; if you are not consistent or if the boundaries are not respected?
Well, it’s just the same as with a toddler; the tantrums will escalate. The behaviour will become entrenched and the level of drama in your life will increase.
You will lose your authority and the team will lose respect in you.
Who wants that?!